Dear Emma

Here is your birth story. One year ago today you were making your way into the world. Having you was the hardest thing I've ever done, but every bit was worth it. I love you sweet pea.

Monday morning, August 2nd. 

Yikes! I awoke at 5 am to a larger than life {awfully painful contraction} and then nothing.


Someone told me that contractions felt like an awful cramping pain. Very similar to the feeling of all your inside organs being squeezed out, twisted in a knot, and rung out like a wet towel {of knives} – all this while your body lowers a watermelon sized baby through your lower half. I hated hearing it at the time, but they were right. Contractions are not fun, not fun at all.

I sat in bed, rustled around, laid idown and thought, today is the day, I want to meet you, my sweet baby girl. I even got a little motivation {I'm somewhat competitive you know} from knowing our friend Melanie was having her C-section at Cedars Sinai {the hospital you were born in} that morning. She was going to have a little boy named Jack, who we would later meet.  As I drifted in and out of sleep with contractions here and there I thought again, this has to be it. But as 9 o'clock approached the contractions had been absent for almost 45 minutes. So, I showered and put on a cute {as cute as 10-months-pregnant can be} black maternity dress. I put on makeup and curled my hair with pins in the back to make a super cool swoopy side bun. I looked in the mirror and thought, I look pretty cute today, perfect for photos with you, my little lady {yeah right, that hairdo would become a frizzy mess after just few real contractions}.

But I digress… back to the labor. The contractions were pretty random, but consistent enough that Daddy decided to work from home that day... just in case. And I was very determined to get this whole labor thing going, so I told him that I don't care if they say I needed to rest {preeclampsia} I was going on a short walk, taking my phone to call Auntie Katie. About 10 minutes into my overcast beach walk I had apparently had 4 contractions close together {Auntie Katie was counting them for me while I walked and talked to her}. She asked me {read: TOLD ME!} to turn around and head home. So I did.

As the day progressed I had contractions here and there: 12 min apart, 10 min apart, 5 min apart, 3 min apart, 20 min apart, 2 min apart, 3 min apart, and so on. It was really frustrating because they always told me IF it's true labor the contractions are stronger, longer and closer together. We'd find out later that this was not really the case with me. 

Around 1 o'clock the sun came out, literally! And I got a message from our good friend Suzy {Max's mom} who is a nurse. As I had signs of preclampsia and didn't want to be induced Suzy gave me some not so traditional tips to help induce myself, basically trying to get my body to releases the natural hormones that can help start labor. So I took her advice. And sure enough within the hour I had lost my mp {ew} and my water started leaking. Side note: they always say your water will break and you'll know when it happens... but nope, mine slowly leaked. Ew again.

As the afternoon progressed I "labored" at home with the birth music mix daddy and I had made: Norah Jones, Alexi Murdoch, Joni Mitchell, a few worship songs, etc. I laid down in our dark bedroom and called Daddy in to help me through a few of the contractions. He was nothing but sweet, telling me to breathe, holding the birthing ball, and he told me how much he loved me, too. But these dang contractions were still so inconsistent {grrrrr}! Nonetheless, they were very painful, so I should have taken them more seriously. 

I had a headache that afternoon, so after asking the "childbirth guru" Auntie Katie she said to call my doctor and tell her I thought my water was leaking and that I had a headache. So I did, at 5:01. I called our doctor {Paula McAllister, whom we loved} to let her know. I left a voicemail, sweet! I was trying to miss talking to the doctor so she wouldn't be able to induce me. I thought I was off the hook. Nope. She called me back 20 mins later and told me I had to come into the hospital ASAP to get checked out, but that I could probably go home after that IF there were no issues. Ugh.

Around 6:30 Daddy and I packed up the car leisurely and started to head into Cedars Sinai Hospital. As we were packing up the contractions started hitting me a bit harder and much quicker. 2 mins apart, 1 mins apart, 5 mins apart, 1 min apart, 1 min apart, 3 min apart… OUCH! During rush hour traffic this was not fun. Daddy zig zagged down Wilshire Blvd and got us to the hospital around 7:30. We called our families on our way to let them know what was going on, but we told them not to come till we had a real update and we were at the hospital. By now I was having contractions pretty quickly. We parked the car, grabbed one little bag {thankfully with our camera in it} and walked up to the 3rd floor. A wheelchair for me? Nope, I thought I was fine and not in real labor. I told them I didn't need it. We didn't grab anything more than our one little bag with hospital papers and our camera because we suspected we'd be going home soon… ha!

After we checked into the hospital at 8 o'clock that night, the contractions started slamming me. And when I mean slamming, I mean they were no breaks in between any of them 15 seconds, 10 seconds, 20 seconds, max. They checked and I was only 2 cm. That's it? Yeah. But my labor was intensifying quickly. I was also having very intense lower back pain. They thought because of my curved sacrum {another last minute issue I had to watch out for} that you might be dropping down and hitting that area, possibly getting stuck. During the contractions I couldn't even change positions to try and alleviate the pain, before another contraction started. Daddy couldn't even call Nana, Papa and the Aunties to tell them to come now. Our nurse Holly quickly moved us to a delivery room two doors down and I could barely make to the room. The nurses thought I was maybe now at 6 cm, based on my pain level. I think I had 4 contractions on the way from one room to the next, and {another ewww gross moment} blood was getting everywhere.

Kyle finally called Papa and Nana to tell him you were coming quick! They finally held me down {I was having massive shaking convulsions} and put the IV in me and I felt like pushing. We didn't know how far along I was because they weren't able to check me {I wasn't able to get into a position long enough for them to check}. I felt like I was on fire, I'm sure my face was close to a purple shade, they put washcloths on me and counted backwards from 30 to 1 through each contraction. I begged for a epidural at this point {oops, there goes all my Bradley classes!} which they quickly granted me 15 minutes later. A bit later my shaking convulsions started to slow down and I was able to get into a position long enough for them to check how far I was dilated.

WOW I was fully dilated to 10 cm!!! It was 10 o'clock. Oops, guess I shouldn't have gotten the epidural {I could still feel everything!}. Oh well. 

But Dr. McAllister wasn't even at the hospital yet, so they told me if I wanted to start pushing I should, but I decided to wait it out a few minutes. Thankfully, she arrived within 10 minutes, and I started pushing. After one push I asked our nurse Holly how long it takes typically? Holly said 1-1/2 to 3 hours of pushing. WHAT? I told her "no way am I taking that long," and that before her shift was over {at 11 o'clock} I will have my baby girl, mainly because of the pain but also because I didn't want to have a different nurse {I know, I know, I'm stubborn}. After that, It only took about 5 pushes {we had to wait out a few of the contractions and not push, because you were in distress, coming so fast }. At one point during the pushing they asked me if I wanted to look, or if I wanted to feel your head coming out. What a beautiful moment right? Em, they peer pressured me into it, so I did. Don't ever listen to peer pressure! It was icky, and well, kind of magical and gross at the same time I suppose, but yeah, mostly gross. :-)

Daddy was Dr. McAllister's right hand man, helping her with everything in the delivery that he could! He guided/pulled you out too. It was amazing! By 10:50 pm you had arrived! It was a wild moment, they pulled you out and I heard your loud cry {even at that age you had a big voice}. They immediately put you on my chest to snuggle and comfort you. I loved it. The room was dim, with just one spotlight on you and I. There were no windows in this particular room, and I liked that. It felt like it was just the three of us. Daddy and I were taking it all in. The nurse grabbed our camera and started taking photos as we laid there snuggling.

They kept you in the room the whole time with us. We tried nursing and you did a great job. While I rested in the bed, Daddy went over with you and they weighed you {5 lb 9 oz} and took your length {19 1/4 in}. I could see you on the weighing table across the room and you finally opened your eyes, I exclaimed that they were the "biggest, brightest, most beautiful eyes I had ever seen," I thought you were just gorgeous!  They cleaned you up a bit and brought you back to me all wrapped up. They took my food order: a cheeseburger {what a surprise!} fries, fruit and a warm chocolate chip cookie please! And then they rolled us out of the room and into post pardum recovery. I loved how everyone stared at us as they wheeled us down the hall. I was beaming with joy!

Tuesday, early early or late late at night {depending how you look at it} August 3rd:

Once we were in our recovery room later that night getting situated, Nana, Papa, Auntie Kay and Auntie Susie arrived. They had driven into LA in the wee hours and snuck into the hospital after visiting hours just to meet you. They were over the moon, absolutely in love with you. And so were we.